Thursday 8 December 2011

Bar Talk and a Bar-Room Brawl.... maybe.

Previously on Wee Z: Things had been procured and even graced the flanks of the ever stationary lads. The gracing however was swift and the bits and bobs were soon tidied away. The bikes had become barless during the process and two ravishing, young models had posed for the camera and adoring fans, no doubt peering over the garden wall.

Firstly, I have an admission to make. I have broken the sacred trust held between you and I. In the last post, nigh the last sentence of the last post!



I lied.



Sorry but we’re not going to talk about “Hughs, Tonys and Basils” .

There admission out of the way. Instead we’re going to speak about bars, and sadly not the alcoholic version. As I’m still trying to catch up with where we are currently, either cowering indoors or under two ragged covers, everything is coming from memory. That means that my wanderings often lead us down paths we shouldn’t have gone down yet or in jumping a puddle in said path, I then realise that, after looking back, there was something I was meant to say there....
So, no doubt making not much more sense...


Remember the bars that were a pain in the posterior? The ones with the controls clamped on with bits of rusty, mushy plastic who remembered in the backs of their chewed heads the times when threads were free running, the grease was clean and iron ran through their veins? Well the old feckers needed a good doing. In Aberdoom however I’m sorely equipped with not a lot. Pens and paper sadly do not a doing maketh.


Back home however we have a garage rammed full of things that if you can find them, or find a space to use them, can be incredibly handy. One of those incredibly handy things was a Bobby. We’ve found him and his fat sausage fingers previously in this project of slowness and ineptitude then in his normal kitchen position. In a stroke of luck however I found him in the garage and pressed him into service and general keeping me right duties.

In all honesty I think he just fancied a bit of time in the garage. When my brother and I raced motocross, he was in the garage all the time. I loved looking over his shoulder, passing spanners, generally getting in the way or lending the extra hand that was needed. Since we’ve both stopped racing the garage action has died down. Beeg Bob has got more in to his boats and his GS doesn’t need any spannering. His XT that does (the brother to my own) really doesn’t get used enough to warrant it, and the mx bikes are either in bits or unused due to uni commitments. Working on boats is fun but there’s something about working on bikes that he must miss.

Well it’s that or the comforts of a garage rather than the quay side and the gales.


Anyhooo, the simple plan was to drill the old fart ‘bolts’ out and make up some new non flatulent ones, using more of faither’s lovely marine grade stainless stuff.

So the bars were, as expected, all viced up with nowhere to go.



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This gives you an idea of the space issue going on.... Way too much stuff!

So I got drilling.


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Notice the snazzy purple foam grips. Why do people run bikes with these? They’re horrible! There is a set of Renthal grips waiting in the box of bits so order will be restored. If we ever get there....


So after some drilling the mush metal was removed leaving a nice hole. The cable is also absolutely minging!


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With the bolts away we could remove the controls. Super simple but without a vice in Aberdeen it would have been a proper head ache. It’s only when you don’t have the wee things that you realise how much you rely on them.


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Sailor boy pulled the controls apart and removed the thread. With the throttle tube off we revealed.....


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A rather impressive amount of flies. That was a resourceful spider.

So we then progressed on to the replacements.


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So rather than using the amazing powers of guess work we simply lined up the old threads to the new bolts and marked them off. Riveting stuff.... or not, on two accounts I suppose!


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They then got all snug in the vice and the Dremel came out. No good cutting shots as Fat Fingers was in charge of the picture taker....


So we did the other one and ended up with these.


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So at least I can put the throttle tube on the new clip ons now.


I apologise for the dullness of this update but these are the crappy wee bits that I quite enjoy and that need doing. I’m getting a bit annoyed with the complete lack of time I have at the moment with the PGDE I’m doing but I’ve thrown caution to the gales and it buggered off at about a hundred miles an hour with a few pounds from my back pocket. There has been a substantial purchase made, mostly down to annoyance of not getting anything done! I’ll put some information up when it’s delivered.

Perhaps next time we will get on to the story of the Hughs, Tonys and Basils but then I may have forgotten something again....

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