Wee Z - Fill Me Up Bobby but Hold the Sailors...

So as I hinted at and the aquila eyed among you may have spied there has been some further ‘progress’ on the tank.

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Resized to 94% (was 1024 x 768) - Click image to enlarge

Resized to 94% (was 1024 x 768) - Click image to enlarge

“It’s bleck!” I hear you shout. I’m sure I heard a slap as palms hit faces there too.... Painting lines are all the rage don’t you know!

So as you may remember the tank was stripped and then abandoned like an unlucky groom. Rust crept like sexual predators upon already trussed meat and quickly ravaged the poor beastie. So after further sanding, it was clear it needed some paint to protect it. Now in my head rusty metal is basically screwed. So to stop this surface rust progressing to anything more serious I decided to take some preventative measures and deal with the consequences later.

So the tank was liberally coated with ‘bleck’ Hammerite on its bottom and then conservatively covered with thin layers on the top. In between every coat the paint was sanded which took much labour. Although this seems a green move in the old painting stakes I am hoping that the undercoat will offer the protection against the weather and rust but be smooth enough to still get a decent finish. (And no I’m not sure why there’s an electoral theme going on in that paragraph either...and if you didn’t notice it shame on you and pay more attention!)           
The inside of the tank does however look like this.

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Some Rupert Paul electro trickery may be used to take the worst of it off. Not sure if I’ll then seal it as well yet though.


You may well remember that the side panels looked like this.

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In the middle of them they had a wee Z200 badge. For some reason I decided that I wanted to remove this. The previous owner who had gifted the Pimpernel his glorious lilac had simply painted over the badges and then used a twig or some other likely implement to paint the Z200 lettering and numbering in white. Nice!

So these were ‘shaved’ as I think the process is called. In honesty a beeg screwdriver was used to try and lever the small, round metal clips up and off the stalks of the badge from behind (oo er). They were rusty. The stalks were brittle. I still have my eyes. Metal and dead plastic flew around the garage like fireworks but the badges were finally removed.

The side panels then saw the rough end of some sandpaper and eventually looked a bit like this.

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Smoooooth! But holey.
Now, my Da is big in to boats and so has rather a lot of expensive and handy stuff that can be utilised for less decadent passions. Fibreglass yachts are pish. Or so I keep telling him anyway. They crack and hole but can in their defence be patched quite easily. Due to my Dad not actually being rich he doesn’t have an ‘awesome’ wooden yacht and instead plays about in a wee Contessa. You don’t need to know this but the Contessa was based upon the old ‘folk boat’ design and is highly regarded as being a ‘spiffing sail’ even today.

Now considering that they were designed in 1966 and only built for ten years to the original design, the fact that these yachts are still seen as benchmarks in their seaworthiness is hugely impressive. Imagine a Norton Commando still being compared to bikes today and journalists shaking their heads and pens while reporting that the new VFR “just doesn’t handle or stop as well”.... Unthinkable innit?


It is also achingly pretty to look at. The lines of the boat are sleek and slender and not at all like the modern crap whose coach roofs’ stick out like bashed digits. Beeg Bob, for that is faither’s name, also keeps his Contessa sweet. You may not be able to stand straight in it under deck, but to see it in the water brings a smile to your face. Other men and ladies of the sea stop and look at it, as we would if we walked by a tidy Le Mans, Jota or 916. The light glints of the polished flanks in just the same way. The sparkle of the sea is echoed by the highly polished metal and deeply varnished wood, just as the dull grey black of the tarmac lifts and supports the visual element of a ‘proper’ motorbike, giving substance and intent to the rings of rubber and winking, twinkling metal and paint.

Just to prove it all here's a couple of pictures of the aforementioned boatie.

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The man himself is in about that last picture too with a rather cheery grin on his bearded face and it is he who owns and flexs the rather fat, sausage like fingers that will pictorially follow.

Boats and bikes rock. Although bikes deal with the quartzite and granite a wee bit better...



So this lot was commandeered.

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Last winter I’d helped Beeg Bob with filling in some cracks and holes that had appeared on ‘Artemis’ (that’d be the boatie) so knew how this stuff worked. Or at least I did then. Faither did the first panel and I did the second.

First came the mixing. This stuff smells mental!

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Resized to 94% (was 1024 x 768) - Click image to enlarge

Resized to 94% (was 1024 x 768) - Click image to enlarge

The mixture goes off very quickly so you have about two minutes of working time before the mixture hardens. So on it went, quickly.

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There were a few marks and charlies in the panels so these were filled too. The mixture was turning before I was finished so it was all rather slap and dash.
It however left us with these.

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Resized to 94% (was 1024 x 768) - Click image to enlarge

Resized to 94% (was 1024 x 768) - Click image to enlarge

Resized to 94% (was 1024 x 768) - Click image to enlarge

The filling was done on the kitchen table. My Mither has suddenly decided that rebuilding bits of bikes in the house is fair game as long as there’s something down to catch any crud. The tank was also painted in my brother’s bedroom as he was still at uni. This is also now deemed acceptable within the household, I think due to Dad varnishing various bits of the boat in there! It’s ace! Warm, dry, light and enough room to move around!

The side panels then came back down to the ‘deen and had a quick rub down.

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Resized to 94% (was 1024 x 768) - Click image to enlarge

Resized to 94% (was 1024 x 768) - Click image to enlarge

Resized to 94% (was 1024 x 768) - Click image to enlarge

A quick wash and they were looking quite snazzy.

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Once I got back home, this was the Easter holidays now, they were masked up along with the tank and have been waiting patiently for a decision on paint.

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Resized to 94% (was 1024 x 768) - Click image to enlarge

Which is where they still are at this point.

Wee Z - A Feckin' Scary Thing and a Conversation

Previously on Wee Z: There had been some presumptuous purchases and work had started and then stalled on relinquishing the Purple Pimpernel’s tank of its magnificent hue. My health was still playing silly buggers but there was some progress! Cue looks of shock, slapped hands to open mouths and exclamations of “well I’ll be” “by ‘eck” and “fackin hell!” depending on your geographical position and general disposition.


So on a day that I was in Aberdeen, as it would have been frankly impossible if I was in Caithness, I went downstairs and had a wee talk with Zedward.

“Boys... we need a chat.” I said standing in front of them, their tired Oxford cover now thrown and crumpled neatly next to them on the ground.

“Mhhhh.” Said the Pimpernel.

The Phoenix shrugged.

“It’s to do with arses.... ” I thought that would ignite some interest in them.

They seemed to perk up, visibly rising on their suspension so as not to miss a word or oily image.

“Your arses.”

“Phhhhhhhh!” They exhaled through their front tires returning them to their previous stance.

“Well we need to decide what we want to do. The cut down seat foam idea is out for you Pimpernel due to your battle wounds from your previous owner.”

Pimpernel seemed to detach from the conversation of the motley group as he stared into the open expanse, focusing on a point above Fergus’s shoulder, over the garden fence and beyond. Yet his mind was inwardly focused, remembering the terror of the cutting disc biting down in to his back and scything away his precious metal seat locks. The calls of the maniac wielding the angle grinder still resonated around the inner headlamp shell of his mind, which was in fact adorning Fergus’s bedroom window at this present time and looking rather lovely. “Tell me the secret Pimpernel! Tell me! What is the secret of the cafe racer! Silence won’t help you! I’ll get you to talk! Hahahahahaha!”

The Pimpernel seemed to shudder and come back to the group. “Eet is true, eet is impossible.”

“Eh?!” shouted Phoenix. “Fuckin’ poofs.”

Pimpernel glared at Phoenix. “You know nutheeng of my pain.”

“Whatever Pim-per-nel. Why don’t you chuck all the gid stuff on tae me Fergie? Ma frame’s still perfect. Ken?”

“Good idea Phoenix except your nuts are stiff.” I replied in an exasperated tone, this was a topic we had been over many times before.
Phoenix would’ve blushed a side light if his headlamp wasn’t sitting in a box and his wiring wasn’t such a mess. He shuffled on his 2cv rear tyre.

“Aye gid point there Fergus. Ah cannae help it tho. Leave a man standin’ on his own fir years and whit’s he s’posed til do? Eh? Feckin seized solid a am, ken. Ye wir right we yir thinkin that Pim-per-nel should be the bastart that gets e chance.”

“Good man. Well what do you think of Monsters?” I asked.

“Feckin scary things eh.”

“No the motorbikes.”

“ahhh.... feckin Latin poofs.”

“Noh they are very sexeee Phoenix. Ze curves. Ze lines. Ze bottom. Ze bulbous tank and ze prominent motor and weeth that staring, beautiful glaring eye... a bike you wish to share oils with noh?”

“Damn sexy yep. Well what do you think about the seat unit? They seem to come up for sale quite a lot and it could be a nice compromise between a full on cafe fibreglass unit and a proper seat. You guys want to give it a go?”

“Oui!” Pimpernel said rising on his suspension so quickly he almost knocked himself off his centrestand.

“Easy on ya stupid cuntin bastart! Ye almost had me over an aw ‘er! Feckin idiot. Ye forgettin our friendship chain or sunthin? Aye fergie al gie it a shot only til gie is twat a thrill.”

“Awesome. I’ll see what I can do.”

And with that our conversation was done. The lads went back under their religious cover and I went back up to the flat with a mission and a need for a mug of tea.

So some further procrastinating on the internet caused a large parcel to arrive.

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Within this parcel was a large amount of sexy wrapping....

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Sexy when ‘exotic’ motorcycles constitute an American import XR75 or a Z200 with a faux French accent...

Within the box and the wrapping lived this...

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Resized to 94% (was 1024 x 768) - Click image to enlarge

Resized to 94% (was 1024 x 768) - Click image to enlarge

I hope there were at least some “oooohhhs!”.
So a scary thing seat was all bought and delivered. However this brought with it the realisation that it was feckin huge! If you haven’t seen a “wee Z” before, I can tell you in all honesty that they are not huge. Not in the slightest. In fact they are anti-huge, un-huge and make mid 90’s CGs look quite butch, and they’re not very huge either.

So with a mock up of the tank (which will need further explanation in a minute...) things looked a bit like this.

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“Oh” you say.

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“Hmmmm” I thought. “But it shouldn’t sit flat on the rails should it?”

Cue hasty mock up resulting in this...

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Resized to 94% (was 1024 x 768) - Click image to enlarge

So it wasn’t looking too promising. The easy, sexy, simple option was quickly evaporating.
So with no enthusiasm or confidence I went to set it on top of the Pimpernel.

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Resized to 94% (was 1024 x 768) - Click image to enlarge

Alas....

So the Monster seat was well and truly out the window. In fact it was so far out the Aberdonian window it was back in the garage in Caithness, making eyes at my Mum’s old VT500 which has fallen into my hands, but that’s a different tale.

So in regards to the seat unit we appear to be back to square one. Which puts us in the *shrug of the shoulders* position.

Thoughts are split between a fibre glass unit like this Aermacchi 350 race seat with some seat foam.




Or a seat like the one on this Norton.




Opinions?

If I went with the Norton style seat I’d go with a cut down mudguard. It would be easier in some respects as I’d only have the Sherman and the race boards to paint.... okay the ‘side panels’. I’m not quite sure which would suit things best though.

This latest instalment will end here as I wouldn't mind some feedback on the old seating ideas..... anyone? The original post was also HUGE! So we shall return to this at a later date. Adieu